I met Hope, a survivor of intimate partner violence, at the place she used to call “home”—YWCA Toronto’s Women’s Shelter. We met in a quiet room, after a nostalgic visit with shelter staff, to discuss how her life has changed since our last conversation four years prior. Hope is happy today and living a life of her choosing. She is thrilled to reveal her many new accomplishments. Hope also shared her deep gratitude for shelter staff who have supported her and her goals. Hope’s proudest accomplishment continues to be getting full custody of her son, Armand, after a long journey that began in 2020.
Below is a truncated Q&A capturing some of my conversation with Hope.
What is an accomplishment that you are really proud of?
I am proud that I was able to get my son back because that experience was a real battle. Looking back, it was all possible because of YWCA Toronto’s Women’s Shelter staff, particularly Erica and Carol. They supported me at every turn. When I realized my son had been abducted, I called the shelter for support. They helped me get the necessary documents to build a case for the search and return of my son—like my son’s ID, which had been stolen by his father.
I am also extremely proud of my educational accomplishments. I am delighted to now have a Bachelor’s of Education and my Master’s in Education.
What inspired you to never give up?
Firstly, I think of my dear, late mom. She would always reassure me that everything would work out. Even during phone calls, when I was unsure of what to do next in my search for my son, she would say “fear not, it is only a matter of time.” My mom never had the opportunity to see my son return, but played an important part because she helped me believe it was possible.
The support of Erica and other shelter staff helped tremendously. The shelter staff are my family. I had already left the shelter, but when my son was abducted and I began to fear for my life I called and they were there for me, yet again. Erica’s support was invaluable as she helped me navigate multiple governmental and legal processes, and helped me work with local and international police, a private investigator and a lawyer to bring my son back to Canada.
Can you walk us through the process of securing full custody of your son?
When I returned with my son to Canada on September 3, 2021, I immediately began the process by contacting a lawyer who helped me attain temporary custody. We had to move fast because anything could happen in the interim, like my ex returning to Canada to do us harm.
Sadly, the first lawyer gave me the run-around. They deemed the case complicated and required further funds, while neglecting to submit the correct files for a full year. I felt compelled to consult with YWCA Toronto’s Women’s Shelter, once more. Through Carol’s advocacy, I was able to find another lawyer through Legal Aid Ontario, who provided legal assistance at no cost. I had depleted all my savings.
By September 2023, the new lawyer had submitted a request for full custody. The first request was rejected because my ex-husband could not be served. His address was required to serve and I did not know where he was. However, I knew that finding him potentially meant that he would know where I was. The documents needed to serve him had my address. I was afraid for my life and my son’s life.
Still, on May 26, 2023, I was summoned to court to provide an address for my ex-husband. I stated that, “I did not know where he was” and also shared that the court in France had also relayed that they could not locate him.
After a second request for full custody, a motion was filed and on January 3, 2024, the Supreme Court of Canada issued the “Decision making responsibility” motion confirming the decision to grant me full custody of my son.
How are you and your son doing now?
My son is happy. He calls me from school most days to check in and tells me, “I love you, Mom.” He is hooked on soccer, and has a strong interest in financial literacy. At nine years old, he knows how to manage my retirement plan better than me.
I am thrilled to be working now, and I am connected to two communities: one at my church where I am able to meet with lots of members, new and old, and the other is at Toronto Housing where I began my educational journey in Canada and continue to volunteer as a youth French teacher.
My son and I are now Canadian Citizens.
What are some of your hopes for the future?
First, I want my family to be happy. And for myself, I want to continue trusting myself because only the sky is my limit.